Today is going to be very hard for you. You will probably feel angry, scared, and alone. You may even hate Bro. David and me.
But you know what? We love you. I love you, Cowboy. Before you ever came to live in our home, I loved you. And I never stopped loving you. Because my love for you is not based on your behavior, or your choices. I love you because you are created by God, and He placed inside of me a love for you that I can't explain.
You have not seen my tears, but since Sunday night I have cried so very much. It hurts to know that you do not want to live with us. It hurts to know that you are not thankful for all the ways that Bro. David and I have tried to make your life better. It hurts to know that we will say goodbye today.
Cowboy, as much as I love you, and as much as you have hurt me...God loves you even more, and your sin hurts Him even more. But God's grace - giving you what you don't deserve - it is bigger and greater than all your sin. Than all your disrespect. Than all your rebellion.
And Cowboy, when you're scared, I want you to remember these two verses:
"What time I am afraid I will put my trust in You." - Psalm 56:3
"For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who says to you 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.'" Isaiah 41:13
And Cowboy, when you feel alone, I want you to remember these verses:
"Be strong and corageous; be content with such things as you have, because God has said, 'I will never leave you or forsake you.'"
(Jesus said) "I am with you always." Matthew 28:20
Cowboy, today, and tomorrow, and next week you are going to have to be brave. But even more than being brave, you are going to have to trust God. He will be with you. Remember that you can talk to Him any time, and anywhere. When you're afraid, pray that He will comfort you. When you're alone, pray that He will let you feel Him close to you. When you are angry, pray that he will teach you how to forgive.
Cowboy, I encourage you to read your Bible. My favorite passage when I am afrai, is Psalm 91. You might want to look it up and start memorizing it. It might help bring peace to your heart.
We will miss you so very much. I will miss your great sense of humor, and your crooked smile. I'll miss how when you fall asleep in the car, your head falls back, your mouth hangs open, and you snore like an old man. I will miss watching you play so sweetly with our neighbor's daughters - you are so very good with kids who are smaller than you. I will miss seeing you snuggle Cody - inside his dog house! I will miss all things things, and so much more.
Cowboy, take your medicine. You really will have an easier time if you do.
I know you're going to make it. But you'll have to be strong. Very strong. Actually, you'll have to let God be strong for you, because you cannot do this on your own.
Remember, Cowboy, this is not forever. Your daddy is working hard to get you back. Soon, you'll be going back to your dad. And you are going to have some stories to tell that Red and Wrangler won't have! So keep telling yourself, "this too shall pass." - that means, "this won't last forever."
I love you, Cowboy. I will pray for you every single day. You will never be far from my thoughts and heart.
You can always call us, day or night. Any time. For real.
Be strong, sweet boy, and know that I will miss you very much.